diary of a nobody

  Today, like most days, I have been letting my thoughts go wherever they please. They’ve been running up and down the hills and valleys of old memories and new, frolicking about the gardens of happy thoughts and meandering, with a sunken head, through the bog of regrets, failures and missed chances. For people familiar with my writing, and me as a person, it wouldn’t take them long to guess that it’s been a rainy day today. It came as a respite from the brutal, sticky, humid weather I’ve had to endure over the last 4 to 5 days. I love the monsoons, and I feel happy when it rains. Coming back to the title. It is a fitting heading for what has happened over the last few days. The same boring routine. I also suspect there may be a pattern involved in what I have for lunch on any given day of the week. Additionally, the neighbours living upstairs make a lot of noise and continue to be a nightmare to live with. One good thing about living on the floor below them is that I’ve learnt to ...

 [originally written on July 22, 2025] My recent train journey, a part of which has been documented in my previous post, brought back a lot of memories. Travelling with my parents and brother, eating homemade food, the anticipation of meeting my maternal grandparents and cousins on my mother’s side and not having to use so much sanitiser (COVID screwed my brain) etc. In fact, none at all. My grandparents' home was my happy place. It remained so until they moved closer to a city/town due to grandpa’s health issues. I only have happy memories of that place, and whenever I search for it on Google Maps and browse over its current state with the street view option, I can’t help but feel sad about its current state. Nobody lives there anymore, but anyone who’d visited that place when all of us used to be there would tell you about the happy times that place was a witness to. One day, if life permits, I would like to retire in such a place.  Another funny memory about train travel wa...

 [written originally on July 19, 2025] I turned a year older and took another trip around the Sun. I am supposed to be older and wiser, but I am none of those yet. Also, I am supposed to make more friends and meet more people and socialise more. That’s what my mother says. Sadly, I am no longer that obedient. I recently came across a post on a social media platform that mentioned how Immanuel Kant lived a fairly uneventful life, spending his entire life in his hometown and never marrying. Other than the fact that I have no hometown, or designate any town as such, and that I have lived in different places throughout my life, I think our lives match quite a bit. Except, I am no philosopher. Also, I got to travel a bit after more than a year and also took a train after 3 long years. During both journeys, I spoke a lot to my co-passengers and also finished reading a poetry book and a short story by Gogol! (I would highly recommend reading ‘The Nose’ by Gogol) Other than that, nothing r...

[originally written on 29 June, 2025] The weather has been disappointing lately. Clouds gather and disperse at their fancy, and we are yet to witness a decent downpour during this monsoon. The sky remains cloudy for the most part, but that provides little relief from the sticky, humid weather. Growing up in northern India and visiting the eastern states during summer vacations, I always used to wonder why men here were often seen shirtless. The most they would have is a vest or a  gamuchha-  which is a thinly woven cotton towel perfect for wiping away sweat. And it dries quickly, too. Exactly what one needs in this humid weather, where one is bound to sweat by the gallons. This unforgiving weather, which peaks from April till the monsoons last, may very well be the reason for this choice of attire(or lack off) of the people here. Brave that I am, I decided to undertake a solo trip to a nearby place. If you’re expecting descriptions of pristine blue streams, a dense tropical ra...

[originally written on March 23, 2025]  The city I am in currently has been blessed with some   Kal Baisakhi   showers t̶o̶d̶a̶y yesterday. The interspersed drizzle throughout the day gave much-needed relief from the warm pre-summer weather that had begun to take shape during the last 10 days. As I write this, a strong cool breeze makes its way through the open windows and caresses my body in an almost sensual fashion. Why do I liken the flowing of wind to that particular emotion, you may wonder? perv much? No! Haha! Because when the wind touches my body, all I want to do is curl up and give into that sensation and enjoy it. One good thing about rains and cool breezes in summer in India is the relief I get from the constant humming of the fan. As if the heat and humidity weren’t enough, one has to bear the constant onslaught of the whirring sounds of a rotating motor hanging by a creaky metal pole just a few feet above your head! If I could, I would never use fans in my l...